I tried to find a PC way to title this post, but nothing else expressed the heart of how I’m feeling.
Yesterday I wrote about feeling pathetic, feelings stemming from the sadness and dread I sense being an HSP during a pandemic. The weight of emotions around me is massive. Now throw heightened racial tension on the top.
I’ve not lent my voice to discussions or racial inequality protests in writing or in person. I usually keep my feelings and opinions to myself until now. I’m shaking with emotion between sobs as I type this. I feel overwhelmingly sad and frustrated, and I’m pissed.
Everyone has an opinion, and everyone feels something—sadness, anger, frustration, or apathy. Every person on this planet has a stake in race wars, whether they embrace or amplify it on social media.
I’ve historically opted to refrain from adding fuel to the madness we’ve come to accept into our lives via social media. Unfortunately, social media and most media outlets have become our modes of disinformation and propaganda distribution more than reconciliation.
My posts err on the side of positive and motivational. I share what I hope is a common ground, where we can see we’re more alike than different.
We can lament over shared struggles, mostly trivial compared to the world stage, maybe an entertaining distraction, but still as a way to come together. I don’t boast world influence, though this is my tiny space on the internet.
So why now do I have anything to say about race relations?
First, I had to write this post in response to a message I received on Instagram, suggesting that by not speaking out, I’m complicit in perpetuating racism. My answer to her and anyone else curious about my motives is that I’m a grown-ass fucking woman, and I decide where to use my energies and talents.
Second, I don’t believe in taking to the streets in protest. There are better ways for me to spend my time, like voting and choosing where I invest my money and supporting artists of color, none of which I need to make public through social media or a rally sign.
Lastly, my dear white friends, stop trying to lend your voice to discussions about racism and prejudice. Unless you’re asking how you can help or offering ways for your brethren to help, stop suggesting that you, in any way, shape or form, know what it feels like to suffer racial injustice. Just. Stop.
I don’t care if you’re a white person married to a Black or Brown person. I don’t care if you live or lived in a predominantly Black or Brown neighborhood. I care even less if you befriend POC and consider yourself an ally and proponent of #BlackLivesMatter.
You will never, ever understand what it feels like to be a Black or Brown person living in America, ever.
Stop with platitudes. Stop announcing what you hope to do to support racial equality – just do it!
Use your privilege to speak out when you witness a person of color subjected to racism. Don’t go home and vent on social media about how upsetting the situation was for your sensibilities. DO SOMETHING IN THE MOMENT. And call out your own when you see they don’t stand up for the unseen and mistreated.
This means you need to pay attention to what’s happening in your own backyard, in your community, at your local supermarket, coffee shops, restaurants, cafes, banks, at the park, and on the beach—everywhere you frequent is an opportunity for you to do something to take a stand for your Black and Brown friends.
If my language and opinion offend you – I. Don’t. Care. Be offended. Be outraged. Now imagine feeling afraid and anxious EVERY SINGLE TIME you leave your home, drive your car, see a policeman or vehicle. Your feeling offended doesn’t even compare.
I don’t feel safe. I never feel safe. It is ingrained in me to question my surroundings and be hyper-aware of the danger of being a woman AND being a Black woman living in a white world.
I need to write more about what it’s like for me to live as a Black Woman in America because there’s so much. I have years of feelings I’ve kept to myself, but the dam is breaking under the weight and magnitude of world events, and well, I got called out.
Right now, I’m sad and troubled. I feel a level of anger that is new territory for me, and I need to make sense of what it means before I can fully express it further. Until then, I push through and use writing and other projects as creative outlets and distractions—this is my process.
To reiterate for the chick who asked, how I lend my voice (or don’t) is my business. Choosing to support specific organizations and individuals in the background is my prerogative.
There are many ways to support #BlackLivesMatter and other initiatives that don’t require protesting in the streets or making waves on social media.
Use your vote, use your buying power, and be aware of your surroundings so that you can use your voice to speak up when you witness racial prejudice and bias.
Other ways you can help your Black or Brown friends? Ask them. How can I help and support you? How can I be a part of making a change in your life?
Trust me, responding to any one of these questions and doing something to help someone in your community, you won’t need to make noise about it on social media. In gratitude, your Black and Brown friends will praise you in their way, in public or privately. Besides, isn’t making a difference the whole point anyway?